I thought I must be dreaming; I couldn’t believe my ears. She’d just told me that if I didn’t cut her some slack and back off from the divorce action she would have me arrested. Just for a moment it caught me unprepared and I held my breath. Then I laughed. I laughed at myself for nearly being caught by her stupid attempt at intimidation; I laughed at her for ever thinking she could scare me; I laughed from sheer relief because I knew it could never happen.
Not wanting to bother my Divorce Lawyers because I knew it was an empty threat. Instead, of making the phone call, I looked her full in the eye and said she should go for it. Then I walked out of the house and went to work as though I had no worries at all. Strangely, I felt her eyes burning into my back as I left. I don’t remember having that sensation before: it didn’t feel good.
We’d been over for a long time but I’d refused to admit it. I should have seen Specialist Divorce and Family Law Lawyers years ago, but I was too proud and thought only of what might have been instead of what was. So I clung on and it just got worse.
We decided to marry after only a few months of meeting. My parents were divided about her. My Dad said she was a sweet little thing who needed someone to care for her. My Mom said she was a nasty little gold digger who manipulated people to get her own way. Of course I listened to my Dad; telling myself he knew more about women that my Mom. Seems sometimes my parents are wrong.
My siblings were also divided. My two brothers said she was cute, sexy, friendly and really good for me. My newly married older sister thought we shouldn’t get married. She said have a long engagement or better yet just live together; go to a shrink and get your head read; if you still want marriage then go to Divorce Lawyers and get an ANC drawn up. Did I listen? Of course I did. Then I ignored the women’s advice and after only three months of dating I made her my wife anyway. Seems sometimes the men folk in my family are wrong.
She was a handful from the beginning with a temper I’ve never seen on anyone before. The cute, sexy, harmless little thing in need of protection turned into dynamite that exploded when mishandled and we all needed protection from this spitfire! The real trouble started after our son was born. She went crazy. Her mood swings were legend. It was like I was married to several people at the same time and I never knew which one would be there when I got home. Then the drugs arrived on the scene. I didn’t spot it at first but slowly a pattern emerged and the woman I married disappeared along with the furniture she was hocking to support her habit. Instead I lived with a demented woman whose habit was growing as the furniture got less.
My friends told me to divorce her right away but I felt I had to see if I could put this marriage back together. It was a vicious circle of ignorance and anger. As my wife got worse she took off with the baby whenever she chose and returned days later when she ran out of money. I couldn’t live like that.
Then some of my colleagues at work staged a kind of intervention. What with them and my friends yelling at me to see a Divorce Lawyer, I knew I was in trouble so I took their advice. I chose to see the Specialist Divorce and Family Law Lawyers at Martin Vermaak. Some of my friends and colleagues had been there to get their own divorces handled and spoke very highly of them and their services.
The Attorneys weren’t what I’d expected. They were pleasant and helpful; understanding and resourceful; encouraging and professional. I was both impressed and relieved. Sometimes my friends and colleagues are right.
She’d been served by the Sheriff and realised I’d meant what I’d said when I told her to clean up her act and get help or get divorced. It hurt me to do that but we had a baby and kids mean you have to get responsible while they act crazy. All I wanted was for her to dry out in rehab and be a wife and mother again. I didn’t want to punish her but she had to see sense. That didn’t work – the Sheriff made her see red.
She wasn’t at home the night the Police came to my house and arrested me. They were not nice. They put handcuffs on me and threw me into the holding cells of the local Police Station. I froze. I went into shock. I knew it was a bad dream and I’d waken up in a minute. They were serious and allowed me one phone call. I don’t know if I was embarrassed or angry or stunned or what. I phoned my Lawyers and asked for help. There were some other people in those cells and they told me not to trust the Police or the Lawyers; they said they were all corrupt.
My Lawyers arrived within the hour and bailed me out. I realised I should have told them about her threat to do this – because it was obvious she caused the arrest. Later it turned out that she’d ‘made friends’ with one of the Policemen who unfortunately had believed her sad little story of me abusing her and decided he’d do her a favour and lock up her nasty husband.
My wife had disappeared and my Specialist Divorce Lawyers searched for her. In the meantime, she’d slipped up and found herself in prison – courtesy of her drug habit. Talk about poetic justice. We continued with the divorce and eventually my son and I were free.
Seems I was wrong about a lot of things but one important lesson I learned stands out in my mind. You can listen to all the advice you’re given by well meaning close ones but don’t act on it. Rather go to see a Specialist on whatever matter in your life needs serious attention or handling. Everyone has an opinion and there are many who sound as though they really know but guess what – if it were them, they’d go to consult with a Specialist and be safe instead of sorry. Don’t be misinformed like I was – misinformed means messed up.