Justin and I got married in a hot air balloon and floated over the top of the beautiful big house and grounds that was to be our new home. We flew to Singapore for our honeymoon and had the most magical time.
An Accountant and Auditor, Justin is very much the businessman. He has his own business – which was flourishing even then. He was a hard worker although his job was very ‘backroomish’ if I can say that. He met his clients from time to time of course, but he really didn’t have the most attractive features or voice and made a lot of silly jokes which I think embarrassed people. It was a good thing that he was a wizard with figures which meant his business was a success and he was never short of funds.
On the other hand, I was blessed with great bone structure and people always talk about my attractive eyes and good facial features. I had a career as a Tour Guide – both nationally and internationally. I took my career seriously and even went for voice training lessons so I could be the best and advance myself. This put me in the public eye all the day and took me away from home a lot – but Justin knew that long before we got married. Although Justin had voiced his concerns about how popular I was and how much people liked me, I just put it down to jealousy and thought he’d get used to it – after all, I was making a lot of money.
So you can imagine my surprise when only a few months after the wedding, Justin started sulking and showing off whenever I got ready to go to work. I tried to calm him down but after a few more months he started throwing tantrums like a child and was completely unreasonable for days after I returned.
I discovered that whenever I went away to work, during the time – days or weeks - that I was absent, Justin threw parties for his friends: expensive parties. I’m not just talking food, booze and entertainment; I’m also talking about designer drugs. I never really did get on with most of his friends but it didn’t faze me because I was away a lot so I didn’t have to meet them too often. Anyway this new trend of Justin’s really got to me. Some of them stayed over and some even wore my clothes and used my expensive colognes. Because I travelled overseas quite extensively I had a lot of designer items: Gucci; Armani; Boss; Dolce & Gabbana; not to mention Prada and Calvin Klein. They cost me a fortune but I have always believed that you dress for success.
Then, horror of horrors, they messed up my kitchen almost to the point of destruction. It was more than I could bear. I loved cooking and was good at it. Actually, I found it quite relaxing. Justin couldn’t even boil water!
My friends said it wasn’t going to work and I should go to Divorce Attorneys to find out what to do. I ignored them because I was too embarrassed to tell anyone else. Although I’m a little shy in my personal life, I’m not someone to keep quiet; so I confronted Justin and told him about my concerns. Actually it would be more accurate to say I began that way but I lost my cool and ended up giving him an ultimatum. His reaction was amazing. He told me he understood perfectly well how much all of this upset me and he would be happy to stop it all if I gave up my career and spent all my time with him. He wanted to open up a second branch of his business and said he wanted to make me a partner and that I should help me because I would be a great asset to his company.
At that particular time I was going through a bad patch at work. I had put in for a promotion and passed the required exams but my company had recently taken on some new management staff and they seemed quite homophobic. I thought that this was the reason my promotion kept on being delayed. So I thought, OK, let’s give it a try; I can always come back to this if it doesn’t work out. I resigned, left, and started a whole new career – or so I thought.
Within three months of joining Justin’s Company I was beginning to regret it. I knew nothing about the business. Being pleasant to the clients was easy but I couldn’t answer their questions and they wanted figures not fashion! Whenever anything went wrong I was blamed, or I had to go and sort it out. It was beyond me. But that was just the tip of the iceberg.
Justin had no intention of ever making me a partner. Instead he paid me a fraction of my previous salary and said it was just to begin with. There were certain small tasks I got the hang of quite quickly and others that I learned how to accomplish over a period of time. Then I found the staff were approaching me with their problems – as I said, I’m more of a people’s person and I’m more diplomatic than my Spouse.
Instead of being pleased, Justin became so incensed that he lost it one night and hit me. I just got in my car and took off driving around for a few hours until I thought he’d be asleep. It was whilst I was driving that I realised I had no friends to go to. My previous friends had been in the Tour Guide business and I lost them when I left. The only remaining friend I had refused to see me until I’d gone to Divorce Attorneys! I didn’t get on with any of Justin’s friends; so I was stuck. I phoned some Attorneys to make an appointment and then chickened out and said I’d call them back – which I never did.
After six months I had almost no money; had not been overseas once – or anywhere else for that matter; and was being controlled financially by my Spouse. He had hit me a couple of times since then and ridiculed me in front of his friends more times that I care to remember. He told them all I was a kept person – a useless wife that he had to support. I was embarrassed and eventually I was beginning to despite him. It was another year before I realised I couldn’t take anymore of this existence.
At first I was too self conscious to go to an Attorney but, in the end I found Specialist Divorce Attorneys Martin Vermaak and went to them. They are amazing! So helpful that at long last I’m beginning to feel like a person again. My Divorce is almost over now and I’m beginning to feel restored to the person I once was. I wish I’d consulted with these Attorneys right in the beginning at the first signs of trouble.