He comes home later these days. Hes preoccupied but tells you theres a situation at work. He often gets called to work suddenly after hours and at the weekends. He buys you flowers, chocolates and other things hes bought you from time to time in the past but recently its more often. He tolerates your nagging. He takes greater trouble over his appearance. You find hairs on his jacket and jersey of a different colour to your own; but he tells you theyre from an elderly woman at the office he often has to supervise.
Your sex life either becomes almost nonexistent or suddenly improves to better than its been for a long time. Hes more tolerant of you getting together with the girls. He gets phone calls that you sense are awkward for him to take in your presence, and e-mails that he deletes he says from the office or the boysbut.
Theres a different air about him; the way he watches you sometimes. He seems to be drawing away from you.
Shes looking better than usual. Shes more tolerant of you leaving your clothes around and drinking beer early in the day on weekends. She spends more time with her girl friends and goes out more often. Shoes you havent noticed before arrive in her wardrobe. She listens to your day at work without interrupting or yawning. She encourages you to go out with the boys. Shes more attentive and supportive towards you, your work and your family. She laughs more, seems more interested in life. She spends more time with e-mails you dont get to see - says its her family and friends. Shes alive with a can do attitude. You feel youre noticing her more than you have for a long time. Your sex life improves and you feel guilty for having taken her for granted. Yet theres something you sense that doesnt add up. The little white lies about her clothes; the way she watches you sometimes; her nervous false laughs on the phone; the sick and needy girl friends.
What do you do? Do you sit down and talk about it? Do you feel guilty for doubting and decide its just a phase? Do you already know but dont want to admit it? We love to punish ourselves, so, instead of doing the right thing we talk to our friends. Theres a lot of bias amongst your friends that only now you will be confronted with.
The wife talks about her husband to one of her friends but the friend isnt sympathetic.
She prefers him to you because shes jealous of you and hes given her the eye several times so her advice is biased, but will you know this?
The husband talks about his wife to one of his friends but the friend isnt sympathetic.
Hes always wanted her for himself and hes having an affair with her now that clearly you are unaware of so his advice is biased, but will you know this?
Rather talk with someone who can be so helpful that within an hour or so of seeing them you will not only feel better but you will be empowered to make informed decisions about your future as and when you need to.
Talk with someone who will not only listen to you but will put you first.
A Specialist Divorce Attorney is your best friend at this stage. He will advise you of your rights, talk you through your current situation, and discuss possible future scenarios with you. He does this so that you will be informed with correct information to assist you through this difficult time.
He doesnt expect you to rush into a divorce if the situation doesnt merit that action, or if youre not yet ready. He simply counsels you without bias so that you have the right knowledge.
A Specialist Divorce Attorney is a useful ally at this stage. He might cost a little more than a few beers with the boys or a beauty treatment but youll get more out of it than a hangover or a brief cosmetic lift. When you are ready to proceed he will be there for you, always in your corner, always advising you for your own sake, always with your best interests at heart, always with your future in mind.
If youre not ready yet, hell wish you well until you are: if you reconcile, hell be happy for you.
Take control of your future and dont be a victim. It doesnt mean saying goodbye to your marriage - it means waking up to life.