If you are a Father of Minor Children and have split up with their Mother; more than ever before you need to stop and read this.
As Family Law Attorneys, who act for both Fathers and Mothers, we can tell you that despite legislative changes over recent years in favour of Fathers getting Primary Residence (custody) of their Children; it is still common belief that Fathers (married or not) are at the back of the queue when it comes to matters concerning who will get the Minor Children. All too readily, the old wives tales emerge of Fathers having no rights for anything but payment and all too easily they are believed by the Fathers. It is high time Fathers begin to understand that their rights are far beyond those of yesteryear.
Nowadays Fathers (married or single with Children born out of wedlock) have similar rights as Mothers irrespective of their marital status. Both the biological Father, as well as the unmarried Father, have parental responsibilities and rights or can acquire such rights under certain circumstances. Come to us and speak with one of our Divorce Lawyers about this.
Sadly most Fathers dont take the time to learn this. They do not seek advice from their Family Law Lawyers and consequently they dont find out what they can do to launch action to enforce their parental rights. Family Law Attorneys are willing to help Fathers in their fight for Primary Residence (or contact to their Children), if only the Fathers are willing to take the right legal steps. Family law is much different than other forms of law, however, and it is always best in such cases to seek professional legal help from a Specialist Lawyer.
Facts and Figures
Firstly, take into consideration the facts and statistics showing that children growing up in fatherless homes are:
5 times more likely to commit suicide
32 times more likely to run away
20 times more likely to have behavioural disorders
14 times more likely to commit rape
9 times more likely to drop out of high school
10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution
20 times more likely to end up in prison
Just on the merit of the above, it is vital that Fathers remain involved in their children's lives even when the Mothers are trying to push them away.
Your Children Need You
Martin Vermaak Attorneys help you to use the legal system to fight very hard to keep your Children in your life they only have two Parents and you are one of them.
However, dont fight your ex partner and especially not in front of the Children if they see their Parents fighting, theyll feel bad about being in the middle. They will also feel guilty as though they had caused the break up. Further, they wont confide in either of you anymore. Theyll feel insecure, depressed and rejected.
As their Father, it's your job to keep them as safe and as happy as possible. Dont discuss the adult details with them and dont say bad things about your ex partner to them. You need to concentrate on making sure that Primary Residence goes to the Parent who is best suited to take care of them and raise them to be well balanced adults. If you consider yourself to be the best Parent for the job then fight for your right to have them.
Alas, being a Father also means knowing when to back off and where to draw the line so that your Children dont suffer any further than they already have done.
Remember Its All About the Children
Its not really about you, the Parents. Your pride or your possessions dont count here its all about the Children and whats best for them.
Because of this you need to be brutally honest about your financial situation. If you try to look wealthier than you are; it will harm your Children and their futures - no matter how good a person you are. So be honest about your finances as if you try to hide anything, the truth will eventually emerge and any deceit on your part will go against you.
Communicate, Compromise and Comply
Although its really hard for divided Parents to keep their cool and be polite to each other, they need to try because fighting will result in delays that will cost them more in legal fees. When Parents arrive quickly at an agreement over Parenting Plans, Property Division, Primary Residence and Maintenance, then things happen more smoothly and economically.
So, please put the Children first and do what is in their best interest no matter how difficult it may be for you: your Divorce Lawyer is there to advise you on these things. If there are material things you can let go of, just let them go. You'll feel and look like a better person and will be able to get the whole thing done more quickly.
Our Family Law Specialists at Martin Vermaak Attorneys can tell Parents that during divorces, far too much time and money is spent on continuous fights and disagreements.
Fathers seem automatically under the impression that they forfeit their Parental rights once they Divorce, and unmarried Fathers are under the impression that they never had any rights in the first place.
Speak to us first before you make any assumptions the future may look brighter than you think.