Logo
Family Law Services

Take the next step to resolving your legal concerns by calling us on 011 875-4311 or by Booking a Consultation and we will be in touch

3 Fear of the Future

3 Fear of the Future

3 Fear of the Future

It’s nothing new for couples to remain in a loveless, lifeless empty shell of a marriage when they really should have gone to Divorce Attorneys, got divorced and embarked on their happy new lives. The irony is that the prospect of a happy new life is the one thing that holds them back and prevents them from starting afresh.

They are frightened. Frightened of the unknown; frightened of the future; frightened of being alone. One can safely say that most people are drawn to the set of circumstances that they are most used to dealing with, instead of the set of circumstances that could make them the most happy. Sounds contrary but it’s actually true.

It is the human condition to seek and secure the constants in our life as opposed to making changes.
We appear to resent change to such an extent that we will tolerate a good deal of punishment rather than initiate the changes that are conducive to and necessary for the advance of happiness. We avoid the Specialist Divorce Attorneys: we avoid Attorneys, because to us they signal enlightenment and change. We want to stay in the dark and we resent change of any type.

All this suggests we are a miserable, masochistic people who prefer disappointment and depression to pleasure and delight. In fact the very idea of bliss and joy,to those who are not used to those emotions, probably brings with it a guilty sinful feeling of stepping outside our accepted lot in life. Not for us the bliss and heights of happiness. We shun the joyful positive emotions, feeling undeserved of them.

It’s not really that complexbut it’strue to say that we’re just scared of trying something new and opening ourselves to the possibility of yet another failure. We are hurt and vulnerable, so we feel the need to be self-protective, even if it means living half a life.

We hold on to our habits – right or wrong. We have developed the habit of marriage. We’ve become so used to having another person there with us that we cannot imagine how we will exist without that company. We might despise, distrust and disown our Spouse but we cannot detach ourselves from them. So, good or bad, please or offend, they remain in the same house and we continue with the same daily routine as always. Family and friends whisper the Divorce word and hand you tired business cards of Divorce Attorneys they have come to know about for past reasons. The cards end up in some obscure place and you don’t look at them again because you know you won’t have need of them.

It’s like being addicted to your daily drug of despair and you hang on to it while it squeezes all joy,delightand life out of you. You have the opportunity of having a healthy, contented and pleasurable future if only you walk away from your present life but you can’t. You can’t bring yourself to face the unknown. By staying together locked in to this repeat performance of your life, you know what will happen every day of your life. You know what to expect and it feels safe!You will ignore and be ignored year after year into the future whilst you put aside your hopes and dreams and bend your shoulders even further under the heavy yoke of servitude and discontent.

You will find a peg on which to hang the blame – maybe the children; perhaps the cost of getting a divorce; even your family’s traditions; or maybereligion has received more than their fair share of blame; as has a multitude of other false excuses. Nothing comes close to the real reason. Starting out single again is scary.

The Divorce Attorneys’ cards call to you. Divorces are more readily acceptable these days. They are affordable, available and manageable. They have become the norm of married life. You can turn away from the cards, shrug off the thought and bury your head back in the sand but…… Think; if this ‘safeness’ is so important to you, how will you live without it when it quickly disappears?

One day, somehow, one of the Spouses will meet someone else who won’t settle for an affair and the hypocritical charade will arrive at an abrupt end. How safe will you feel then? Your Specialist Divorce Attorneys could have saved you this extra shock and pain.

Call us at Martin Vermaak Attorneys – let’s help you before things get worse.