DIVORCE PROCEDURES

COUNTDOWN TO DIVORCE?

He comes home later these days. He’s preoccupied but tells you there’s a situation at work. He often gets called to work suddenly after hours and at the weekends. He buys you flowers, chocolates and other things he’s bought you from time to time in the past but recently it’s more often. He tolerates your nagging. He takes greater trouble over his appearance. You find hairs on his jacket and jersey of a different colour to your own; but he tells you they’re from an elderly woman at the office he often has to supervise.

Your sex life either becomes almost nonexistent or suddenly improves to better than it’s been for a long time. He’s more tolerant of you getting together with the girls. He gets phone calls that you sense are awkward for him to take in your presence, and e-mails that he deletes – he says from the office or the boys…but….

There’s a different air about him; the way he watches you sometimes. He seems to be drawing away from you.

She’s looking better than usual. She’s more tolerant of you leaving your clothes around and drinking beer early in the day on weekends. She spends more time with her girl friends and goes out more often. Shoes you haven’t noticed before arrive in her wardrobe. She listens to your day at work without interrupting or yawning. She encourages you to go out with the boys. She’s more attentive and supportive towards you, your work and your family. She laughs more, seems more interested in life. She spends more time with e-mails you don’t get to see - says it’s her family and friends. She’s alive with a can do attitude. You feel you’re noticing her more than you have for a long time. Your sex life improves and you feel guilty for having taken her for granted. Yet there’s something you sense that doesn’t add up. The little white lies about her clothes; the way she watches you sometimes; her nervous false laughs on the phone; the sick and needy girl friends.

What do you do? Do you sit down and talk about it? Do you feel guilty for doubting and decide it’s just a phase? Do you already know but don’t want to admit it? We love to punish ourselves, so, instead of doing the right thing we talk to our friends…. There’s a lot of bias amongst your friends that only now you will be confronted with.

The wife talks about her husband to one of her friends but the friend isn’t sympathetic.

She prefers him to you because she’s jealous of you and he’s given her ‘the eye’ several times – so her advice is biased, but will you know this?

The husband talks about his wife to one of his friends but the friend isn’t sympathetic.

He’s always wanted her for himself and he’s having an affair with her now that clearly you are unaware of – so his advice is biased, but will you know this?

Rather talk with someone who can be so helpful that within an hour or so of seeing them you will not only feel better but you will be empowered to make informed decisions about your future as and when you need to.

Talk with someone who will not only listen to you but will put you first.

A Specialist Divorce Attorney is your best friend at this stage. He will advise you of your rights, talk you through your current situation, and discuss possible future scenarios with you. He does this so that you will be informed with correct information to assist you through this difficult time.

He doesn’t expect you to rush into a divorce if the situation doesn’t merit that action, or if you’re not yet ready. He simply counsels you without bias so that you have the right knowledge.

A Specialist Divorce Attorney is a useful ally at this stage. He might cost a little more than a few beers with the boys or a beauty treatment but you’ll get more out of it than a hangover or a brief cosmetic lift. When you are ready to proceed he will be there for you, always in your corner, always advising you for your own sake, always with your best interests at heart, always with your future in mind.

If you’re not ready yet, he’ll wish you well until you are: if you reconcile, he’ll be happy for you.

Take control of your future and don’t be a victim. It doesn’t mean saying goodbye to your marriage - it means waking up to life.