Bernice’s Story

My parents had their own businesses, in fact the whole family was wealthy and so I grew up with money. Because it was what they call ‘old money’ I was brought up with all the old fashioned values: put others first and help them, be respectful and grateful, be understated and never vulgar.

I chose George for my husband thinking he was the same. He was well off with a newly founded business which was proving extremely successful, and I was sure he was a better match for me than someone who didn’t understand the life of prosperity.

Both our families were happy, and we quickly fell in love and got married. The sex was great and I got pregnant within a few weeks. Life couldn’t be better I thought, and we had two more children within the next few years.

Raising children slows you down and makes you think. You have to be responsible and protective and you start to see the world a little differently.

After a while I realised George could be quite unprincipled at times and his value system was so different to mine that we argued a lot and then the fighting began. He physically threatened me quite a few times and I then said it was time for a divorce.

By this time, my parents and I had heavily invested in another of George’s business ventures and somehow or another, we hadn’t consulted with Attorneys to protect our financial interests because it was family and we all trusted each other.

George saw things differently. He was angry now so he was being spiteful and vengeful. He moved out and went to live in another of our houses – we’d also invested in several properties of quality. I thought it might be a good idea for a while because we both needed to cool off. The children stayed with me and their life didn’t really change that much in the beginning.

The separation lasted much longer than I anticipated and he started playing nasty games of control. We had been involved in the business together and one day I arrived there and was told to leave. He actually shut me out of the business. Then he stopped me from using one of the cars. I was astonished at his behaviour because we had five perfectly good and expensive vehicles. He would choose which one I could use and put a distance and time limit on my use.

Worse still, he started using the kids as bargaining tools and did his best to turn them against me. They started suffering badly through this and their emotional conditions became unstable.

I thought it best to consult an Attorney and went to Martin Vermaak – he was already the Attorney that some of my family members preferred and so I went to see where I stood from a legal point of view. I should have done this sooner – it would have been a big help.

Everything my Attorney advised I carried out to the letter and George seemed utterly shocked. He changed his attitude and starting being nice to me and one night that week he arrived at the house with flowers and other gifts and of course, we ended up in bed.

I stopped the divorce because I thought we would get back together again and then behind my back, George consulted his Lawyer! I found out about this by accident through a friend of mine. Returning to Martin Vermaak I was determined to go ahead with this divorce this time.

Alas, not long after that the same thing happened again; George ended up in my bed and I called Martin Vermaak Attorneys and stopped the divorce.

My husband and I were so good together and were on the point of moving back with each other when again, chance stepped in and I discovered some photos of a sexual nature showing George and another woman.

When I confronted him, he just laughed at me and said he was perfectly within his rights because we hadn’t been living as man and wife. He said it had been just a fling and there was nothing I could do about it. Boy was he wrong!

The internet is a wonderful thing and I flung those revealing images all over the place on the net – facebook, you name it, there it was. I was finally standing up to George and playing his game and winning.

Naturally he was humiliated and extremely apologetic. It was only then that he began to realise how badly he’d hurt me and the kids and how much he missed us. He was sufficiently remorseful that he attended my Attorneys with me to see how we could get things back on track. After a few series of consultations, my Attorneys drew up a variety of documents that would protect me and my family in the future but still were equitable to George, and we signed.

To cut a long story short, I still love George, and thanks to the insightfulness and understanding of Martin Vermaak Attorneys, George and I are giving our marriage another try.

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