PRISCILLA’S STORY

When my marriage failed and I realised divorce was the only solution I called a well known divorce Attorney. He was fairly brisk and brusque on the telephone; not at all sympathetic. He said “Oh well, I’m too busy now; make an appointment to see me sometime next week - I can’t say anything until I’ve heard your story. Let’s see what you’ve got to say”.

He sounded bored as though he’d ‘heard it all before’ – he probably had – hundred of times; but – that’s his job. He was extremely guarded about the cost and his hourly rate.  I learned that he charged R3 500 per hour and sounded bored even before we’d met. I was bored with me. My husband was bored with me – hence the young, expensive girlfriend and my need for divorce.  I didn’t make an appointment to ‘tell my story’. I told it to the divorced friend who’d been to them.

Phoning another firm of divorce Attorneys in a different area, I learned their fee was R3 000 per hour. Despite my saying I was calling from my cell phone, the receptionist still kept me waiting for a long time before finally putting me through to a secretary who transferred me to someone else who eventually re-routed my call back to the Receptionist – who, incidentally, was more helpful than the others. She chatted brightly, told me the few details she was aware of and tried to be helpful. However, as she pointed out, they were very busy with divorces so everyone had to wait. After twelve minutes or so, she said that the time I was kept waiting on the phone was not unusual. I never got to speak to an Attorney – they were all far too busy for me. I felt just as insignificant as my husband made me feel. Again – no appointment. Left sitting in reception being ignored for a further twenty minutes did not appeal to my dwindling self esteem. I visited another divorced friend who’d been to them.

Undaunted, I decided to follow the DIY divorce route. Yet, faced with all those tick boxes, confronted with all those decisions; questions screamed out at me from every column and worse still, I was given a form of multiple choice regarding my most personal areas of life. Can’t face it? Don’t think you’re quite ready? Simple! Join this support group and let others examine all your dirty laundry – but it’s ok because, you, in turn, get to perve all over theirs. I didn’t think so. Whatever mess my domestic life was in, it was certainly worth a lot more than a couple of clicks and ticks on the computer and clucks and tuts from a group of (albeit well-meaning) voyeurs. At this time I almost gave up.

In desperation, a few days later, I was surfing the net and discovered the website of a lesser known Attorney. However, he was a Divorce Specialist so I called the number. They say third time lucky yet I’ve never believed in what I call tired superstitions. The staff was so efficient and helpful that without thinking twice I’d made an appointment for the following day. This Attorney’s hourly rate was R2 500 per hour – not that much less than the other Attorneys, but I was told the rate immediately without have to force it out of them. The company’s premises were not huge and impressive but certainly upmarket, modern and professional. Greeted pleasantly, I was not kept waiting more than a few minutes before being shown into a smart boardroom and offered refreshment. An Attorney introduced himself and we discussed my case over tea and biscuits. Although somewhat apprehensive, I began to feel human again - like a person with rights. We commenced proceedings.

The whole process did not take too long and eventually I had my divorce – but I also had something else. During the entire procedure my Attorneys had remained in contact with me, often fetching trays of tea and biscuits – and boxes of tissues - when I arrived unannounced and in need of reassurance. The Attorney handling my divorce thought of things for my protection and future comfort that would never have occurred to me. This alone was outstanding. However, the cherry on the top – for me that is – was talking it over later with my two divorced friends and finding out that my settlement was a good deal more substantial and comprehensive than theirs!