Clinical Psychologists tell us that men are the ones more likely to contemplate and actually commit suicide as a result of divorce proceedings. However, both spouses are depressed by divorce proceedings and women often find themselves contemplating and committing suicide as a result thereof.

The more stable of the two divorcing spouses faces unique challenges when they realise that their spouse is considering taking their own life. When this happens they need to employ exceptional tactics not only to protect their own rights but also to deal with the matter of the suicidal spouse.

However, these same experts also tell us that women are the ones more likely to suffer – more than men – after a divorce.

Friendships Are Important

Neither party emerges unscathed from a divorce. Both spouses are negatively affected. Overall, women suffer more financial setbacks than their male counterparts. However, the theory is that the way in which the two sexes form social bonds is the secret to how resilient they will be during the divorce.

Apparently, men believe they are expected to be macho, so they do not usually form deep and emotionally trusting friendships with the guys in their set. Consequently, when a divorce occurs they are without the support that their female counterparts have.

The friends women make are the ones with whom they can share their feelings. Women discuss their emotions and form deep and emotionally trusting friendships. So, in the event of divorce, women have more of a social support network.

Poor Coping Skills Means More Stress

During divorce men not only lose the role of husband; they also suffer large changes to their role as a father.

Whilst it is still generally believed that where children are involved, the mother will become the custodial parent, this is not always the case. Unfortunately, when confronted with divorce, most men assume that they will lose the main part of their fatherly role. Sadly, it is this assumption, together with their feeling of responsibility for the failure of the marriage that causes massive trauma in a man’s life and causes him to consider suicide as an option.

If the man is not the divorcing spouse then he sustains extreme shock at the news of an imminent divorce. Even if his wife has been dropping hints, a man usually doesn’t think things are as bad as she does. Suddenly he’s faced with losing his wife, his children, his home and his money.

Clinical Psychologists tell us that generally speaking, when dealing with stress, men don’t cope well and tend to be more destructive – hence, they are more likely to turn to substance abuse. However, the above can apply to both sexes because those women with poor coping skills will also be inclined towards self destruction, substance abuse, and suicide.

What To Do

If your spouse is in a delicate state, avoid arguments or confrontations of any kind with that person.

Outline – write down – your final goals regarding the divorce. This means you are not going to squabble and get into petty arguments. This should reduce the stress factor.

Get professional help for yourself because a Therapist deals with similar situations on a regular basis and can advise and assist you through the entire proceedings so as not to cause extra anxiety for your suicidal spouse.

Another option is joining a support group. Being with others in a similar situation and being able to have discussions with them often helps an individual both in knowing they are not alone but also hearing other people’s experiences.

Gently suggest and encourage your suicidal spouse to get professional counselling. However, do not insist because, by making further demands you will certainly be causing them more pressure.

Remember:

• You are not responsible for your spouse’s emotional state
• Although you don’t want to worsen it, you cannot blame yourself for their condition
• In case your suicidal spouse contacts you during the divorce proceedings and threatens to take their own life, keep emergency numbers with you at all times.

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