Divorce is definitely the end of something that went wrong yet also it should be the beginning of something grand and glorious!

Many thousands of divorced people are happier than they have ever been before. The reason for their happiness is that they have adjusted to being single and have all learned how to function happily as single people. If you could take a poll amongst them and for their secret, they would probably answer that it doesn't matter who you know or the state of your finances nearly so much as how you get it all together.

Some singles have taken to their new lives so quickly and so well that it seems as though they didn't have to make much of an effort to move on. This of course is not true. These Divorcés made the wise decision to firmly put the past where it belongs – behind them – and move forward into their futures. They have felt their pain but not dwelt on it as some others choose to do. That they are now having fun is the bonus they get for working at being in the real world, dealing with their issues and getting on with life. So, if you find yourself wondering what they know that you don’t – it’s simply not to hang on to the past. Live in the present and to work at being happy with what you have.

It helps a lot if you realise that the world has changed and will continue to alter and we must adapt or suffer the consequences. Nowadays people get married for reasons other than the ones that applied years ago. Today there are more choices and distractions. Marriages don’t last as they used to and there is no longer any stigma attached to divorce.

In these modern times, it’s OK if you want to beat up on yourself and sit around full of doom and gloom. If you want to play the blame game and pine for what used to be, no one will stop you. You can go ahead and lose weight and never date again. Just don’t expect anyone to sympathise with you or join you in your miserable moments. Times have changed and most people have realised that life is really meant to be happy but no-one can do that for you.

Almost everyone had a bad divorce. Happy divorces don’t seem to have been invented yet. Unfortunately many people believe that it’s wrong to be alone. They think they’ll go mad with their own company. So they get out there and try to get someone else into their lives as fast as they can. Someone who will take away the loneliness, cheer them up and make them happy. Sadly this cannot be done. The loneliness is inside you, and happiness doesn’t arrive through other people – it’s something you do for yourself.

To hunt for a replacement mate is a big mistake – at least until you've learned to stand on your own two feet. To be successful in your future life you must first learn to live alone and be happy doing so. If you can’t stand your own company, how can you expect anyone else to tolerate it? Once you learn to live alone happily, it’s amazing how your independence and positivity will attract other people to you. When the right person arrives on the scene you’ll have so much more joy to share with them instead of being some miserable and abject person who needs to be rescued.

Consider this: you now have the golden opportunity to make the rest of your life the best of your life! Don’t sit around, wasting time and waiting for the ‘time heals everything’– start healing yourself instead.

By now you have probably taken quite a beating – physically, emotionally and mentally – because stress will do a lot of damage. Certainly no-one can afford to be under this strain for long. Divorce is possibly the most stressful occurrence of your life and you need to deal with it as quickly as possible for survival’s sake. You don’t deserve to be miserable – life’s too short – so start doing something about it.

If you’re tired of being lonely and miserable; if you think there must be more to this single life you are presently enduring; and if you are sick and tired of the way things are; and if you are ready to try and help yourself, then you will find what follows to be of great use in the building of a brand new life from the ground up.

To begin with, accept the fact that no-one can make you happy but yourself. You alone are solely responsible for your own success and happiness. Self pity won’t get you anywhere near the happy place you want to be. Neither will waiting for someone to ride to your rescue.

First you need to find yourself. Discover who you really are and get to know that person. You could be pleasantly surprised. You can only find others by first finding yourself. Remember, like attracts like. If you are depressed and bitter, then you will attract similarly depressed and bitter people to you; that’s not the way to begin a new and exciting life. Once you are comfortable in your own skin and actually like the person you are, you’ll be surprised how many people will want to know you.

Constantly searching for the right person to make your life happy is a mistake because you are that person. Only you can make yourself happy. Once you’ve accepted this fact, it won’t be long before the right person appears as if by magic!

Be prepared to spend quite a few evenings alone at home: either reading; studying towards self improvement; pursuing a hobby or finding a new one; or surfing the net on your pc. However you decide to spend that time alone, enjoy it, get to the point where you are at ease with yourself and eventually you’ll be ready to take hold of your life and do some happy thing with it.